80's Flashback

I got one of those e-mails “You know you grew up in the 80’s if…” They always have the same stuff, like “You know what ‘NKOTB’ stands for,” and “You owned a pair of jelly shoes.” But this list had two things I haven't thought of in years that made me laugh out loud. The first was:

You ever got seriously injured on a Slip ‘n Slide.

We didn’t have a Slip ‘n Slide when I was a kid, but I was certain I could make one myself. So, I got a few of Dad’s black Hefty trash bags from the garage, cut them down each side, laid them end-to-end in the backyard, and rested the hose at the top with a constant, trickling stream.

I stood back and surveyed my work; it was perfect. The yard even had a downhill slope. I positioned myself a good twenty feet from the slide (I needed room to build up some speed), then I took off running, full force, and dove head first, Pete Rose style.

Sadly, but maybe not surprisingly, my creation didn’t function quite like a Slip ‘n Slide. It was more like a Skid n’ Bleed.

The other thing on the e-mail list that made me laugh was:

You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House).

Remember this game? As soon as I read that sentence, I was back in Mr. Hunter’s fifth grade class, playing with Anne Worley and Michelle Atherton. Here’s how my game board would have looked back then:

BOYS (You have to include two “real” boys from school.)
Corey Feldman
Sean Astin (Yes, I was a HUGE Goonies fan.)
Dave Hoffman (My fourth grade “boyfriend” who moved at the end of the year and broke my heart.)
Rick Neville (The super-smart nerd that everyone made fun of in fifth grade; we became friends in high school.)

CAREERS
Artist
Doctor
Architect
Garbage Collector (The ultimate bad job to a fifth grader.)

CITY
New York
London
Paris
Denver, PA (Living in the same town you grew up in? How shameful!)

CARS
Fiero
Corvette
Mercedes
Station wagon with wood paneling (“The Woody” as KB would call it.)

I played the game and according to the results, I should be married to Sean Astin, living in a shack in New York, working as an architect, and driving a station wagon with wood paneling.